First off, Happy Thanksgiving! From
across the Atlantic to everyone back home! As I sit here today in
cold, rainy Paris, in this beautiful apartment that I don't pay for,
surrounded by the few things I need in life: a fridge that is stocked
with food, a shower that whenever turned on provides me with a steady
stream of hot water, constant electricity and internet, I reflect on
how lucky I am in life.
Born in Alameda, California to Paul
and June Sterngold, two middle class white parents, who were able to
raise me with a roof above my head and consistently keep food on my
plate—I again reflect on how lucky I am. We as humans have no
choice as to whose womb we come out of or where in the world we are
born. Yet, as we travel down our paths in life, many of these facets
begin to be held against us, as if we had some choice over where we
were born, what colour our skin is, whether our parents had money or
not, what shape our bodies are...etc, etc.
As I type this blog post out on my
Apple computer that I bought while I was attending a prestigious
American University, I realize how many things we as humans take for
granted in this life. It isn't our fault that the things we come into
contact with every day we can't always appreciate. That would be
tiresome and redundant. Yet on a day like today, I think it is
important to 'check our privilege' as the recent expression states,
which has become ever more prevalent in light of recent events in the
United States.
I can be thankful for the fact that I
will most likely never be racially profiled by the police and that I
will never be looked down upon when I move to a new neighbourhood. My
parents were able to raise me in safe, middle class neighbourhoods,
where job opportunities abounded and great schools were within
walking distance. I was privileged to be able to attend a great
University with the financial assistance of my parents; that my
father had a productive job in the Bay Area/San Diego/Los Angeles
that allowed my mother to stay home and raise my sister and I;
constantly driving us to soccer practice, dance, piano, etc. This
ultimately provided a great environment for us to learn and focus on
our futures, in the hopes that one day we would be accepted to a
University in order to further our occupational prospects. I was
never forced to work to support my family as a youth; I never had to
question my safety within my own home, or had to ask myself where my
next meal would come from. These elements were taken care of without
my slightest concern.
I can contrast the life I led in
relation to that of my significant other, who is of Mexican origin,
and the constant struggle he and many of his family members have gone
through and continue to go through as Mexican American men. I can see
the many barriers he had to break through just to achieve what many
white men see as 'the norm.' The fact that his parents both had to
work hard, long hours and were not always able to be there for him
when he got home from school. The fact that his neighbourhood in Los
Angeles was not always safe, and that many of his friends were
persuaded by the respect and charm of gang life and drug dealing. His
parents had to fight these extra battles just to make sure that he
went on to college. In order to attend a University, he had to take
out many loans because his parents could not afford to provide the
extra funds for him, as well as taking care of the rest of the
family; coloring his future prospects with the extra burden of
college debt.
Living in Los Angeles, he grew up in
an environment where the police saw him as inherently dangerous, just
because of the color of his skin; this is something I will never be
able to empathize with. This will never happen to me. Going to
University alone was to step outside of the preconceived idea that
American society has for him as a Mexican American male. He and all
of his brothers and sisters went on to University, this is a
testament to the strength of their family and his parents' parenting
abilities, for in an environment where many of the chips were stacked
against them they persevered, instilling their children with strong
values and a great work ethic.
In my own experience, going to college
was not only expected, it was 'the norm.' Not to go to college would
have been to fail. In a family where the past three generations have
all gone on to receive Masters' Degrees, Bachelors' Degrees, attended
credible American Universities, and work at jobs that aligned with
their career goals, I always knew I would go to college. It was not a
question of if, just a question of where. I am sure you can see the
contrast. For what some view as 'the norm,' for many others is to
shatter barriers, break down preconceived notions of intelligence,
rights, parenting abilities, and financial capacities. For all those
who argue that the American Dream provides equal opportunity to
all—can you see the privilege now?
Just to achieve what for myself was
expected, for my significant other was to go above and beyond and
stand up against a pervasive expectation. Yes, some may say this is a
testament to his personal capabilities, as the old adage says a “pull
yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality, but by delving deeper,
it is clear that so many things had to fall into place for him to end
up living the life I take for granted. It is then clear to see how
easy it could have been to travel down the path that so many inner
city youth do; in watching those around them make easy money through
drug dealing, to find community and brotherhood in gang life, to gain
little assistance and even fewer prospects from a public education
system they see faltering, because of the way their parents work 9-5
every day just to barely make ends meet, and finally, to see few
individuals who look like them reflected in those labeled a success
by mainstream society.
So, with all this said, I give thanks.
I give thanks for everything that has been given to me in life. For
that which has been given to me through perseverance of those before
me, and for that which was truly accidental; as the saying goes—for
the way the cookie crumbled—in my favor. I cannot appreciate every
day to what extent the fact that I am a thin, educated, middle class,
white female works in my favor. So today I have chosen to do so. I
give thanks.
