To give Thanks

First off, Happy Thanksgiving! From across the Atlantic to everyone back home! As I sit here today in cold, rainy Paris, in this beautiful apartment that I don't pay for, surrounded by the few things I need in life: a fridge that is stocked with food, a shower that whenever turned on provides me with a steady stream of hot water, constant electricity and internet, I reflect on how lucky I am in life.

Born in Alameda, California to Paul and June Sterngold, two middle class white parents, who were able to raise me with a roof above my head and consistently keep food on my plate—I again reflect on how lucky I am. We as humans have no choice as to whose womb we come out of or where in the world we are born. Yet, as we travel down our paths in life, many of these facets begin to be held against us, as if we had some choice over where we were born, what colour our skin is, whether our parents had money or not, what shape our bodies are...etc, etc.

As I type this blog post out on my Apple computer that I bought while I was attending a prestigious American University, I realize how many things we as humans take for granted in this life. It isn't our fault that the things we come into contact with every day we can't always appreciate. That would be tiresome and redundant. Yet on a day like today, I think it is important to 'check our privilege' as the recent expression states, which has become ever more prevalent in light of recent events in the United States.

I can be thankful for the fact that I will most likely never be racially profiled by the police and that I will never be looked down upon when I move to a new neighbourhood. My parents were able to raise me in safe, middle class neighbourhoods, where job opportunities abounded and great schools were within walking distance. I was privileged to be able to attend a great University with the financial assistance of my parents; that my father had a productive job in the Bay Area/San Diego/Los Angeles that allowed my mother to stay home and raise my sister and I; constantly driving us to soccer practice, dance, piano, etc. This ultimately provided a great environment for us to learn and focus on our futures, in the hopes that one day we would be accepted to a University in order to further our occupational prospects. I was never forced to work to support my family as a youth; I never had to question my safety within my own home, or had to ask myself where my next meal would come from. These elements were taken care of without my slightest concern.

I can contrast the life I led in relation to that of my significant other, who is of Mexican origin, and the constant struggle he and many of his family members have gone through and continue to go through as Mexican American men. I can see the many barriers he had to break through just to achieve what many white men see as 'the norm.' The fact that his parents both had to work hard, long hours and were not always able to be there for him when he got home from school. The fact that his neighbourhood in Los Angeles was not always safe, and that many of his friends were persuaded by the respect and charm of gang life and drug dealing. His parents had to fight these extra battles just to make sure that he went on to college. In order to attend a University, he had to take out many loans because his parents could not afford to provide the extra funds for him, as well as taking care of the rest of the family; coloring his future prospects with the extra burden of college debt.

Living in Los Angeles, he grew up in an environment where the police saw him as inherently dangerous, just because of the color of his skin; this is something I will never be able to empathize with. This will never happen to me. Going to University alone was to step outside of the preconceived idea that American society has for him as a Mexican American male. He and all of his brothers and sisters went on to University, this is a testament to the strength of their family and his parents' parenting abilities, for in an environment where many of the chips were stacked against them they persevered, instilling their children with strong values and a great work ethic.

In my own experience, going to college was not only expected, it was 'the norm.' Not to go to college would have been to fail. In a family where the past three generations have all gone on to receive Masters' Degrees, Bachelors' Degrees, attended credible American Universities, and work at jobs that aligned with their career goals, I always knew I would go to college. It was not a question of if, just a question of where. I am sure you can see the contrast. For what some view as 'the norm,' for many others is to shatter barriers, break down preconceived notions of intelligence, rights, parenting abilities, and financial capacities. For all those who argue that the American Dream provides equal opportunity to all—can you see the privilege now?

Just to achieve what for myself was expected, for my significant other was to go above and beyond and stand up against a pervasive expectation. Yes, some may say this is a testament to his personal capabilities, as the old adage says a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality, but by delving deeper, it is clear that so many things had to fall into place for him to end up living the life I take for granted. It is then clear to see how easy it could have been to travel down the path that so many inner city youth do; in watching those around them make easy money through drug dealing, to find community and brotherhood in gang life, to gain little assistance and even fewer prospects from a public education system they see faltering, because of the way their parents work 9-5 every day just to barely make ends meet, and finally, to see few individuals who look like them reflected in those labeled a success by mainstream society.

 So, with all this said, I give thanks. I give thanks for everything that has been given to me in life. For that which has been given to me through perseverance of those before me, and for that which was truly accidental; as the saying goes—for the way the cookie crumbled—in my favor. I cannot appreciate every day to what extent the fact that I am a thin, educated, middle class, white female works in my favor. So today I have chosen to do so. I give thanks.