Where we find happiness

Photo Credit: Emily Lalande
Altiplano, Bolivia

Happiness changes throughout the course of our lives. It molds us and changes our experience through time. As a child happiness appears as innocent play, simple movement and friendship. As we age our idea of happiness becomes more complicated; often we find it tied to things, possibilities, people. As we age happiness may become harder to find; a ribbon floating in the breeze slipping through our fingers, tangible yet forever caught in a breeze attempting to free itself from out grasp.

My quarter century milestone recently passed and I find myself constantly assessing my own happiness and how I am going to achieve it; constantly thinking about where and what will bring me true happiness. It is this idea of true happiness that as a millennial, I believe many of us are consumed with. Whether this is a good or a bad thing remains to be seen, yet we continue to strive for reaching such an intangible concept. This idea is certainly something that I believe forces many young people of my generation to stray from the idea of a steady job—an office job, of settling down, of finding a life of certainty. A life our parents may have loved. We believe that there is something grander, something more perfect out there for us. This remains to be seen, though this idea certainly fills my mind with thoughts of a job where I explore, travel, love, and never feel like I am working a “job.” I want the unachievable to be achievable. I want to achieve true happiness and from a young age I was told, 'you can do it.' This struggle to achieve happiness through my work, through my day-to-day experience may be long and it may be difficult, but with hard work, with failure, with growth, at some point I will find it. As millennials this is what we are taught.

I broach this topic because I am currently living—existing in a state of struggle. My daily existence is torn between loving my life and hating it; between loving my job and hating it. As I discussed with a good friend of mine the other night, either we come to terms with the fact that we are going to work jobs that we will hate and see as 'work' or we flee; we fly and flutter from job to job that we don't find perfect, never committing ourselves completely to anything, until we find something that we believe is perfect.

Here is where we differed; as two different people we saw this contest from two very different perspectives. My friend saw my current struggle as a sign that I should seize the moment and realize I will only be 25 once and that this young carefree life won't be mine forever. She believed I should quit and move on to another job that I find less stressful. Her perspective certainly has merits. For one, I am definitely never going to be twenty five again. I am stressed—and for what? What is this job bringing me in the 'big scheme of things?' When I take the time to contemplate these questions I can empathize with her point of view. She has left a few large commitments in her life because she was not totally satisfied, not totally happy, and never looked back. She has found parts of herself through her failures to commit. Through quitting—such a dirty frowned upon word because of all that it stands for: failure, giving up, lack of will, perseverance, etc., she has found success.

I come to this issue from the opposite side of the spectrum (Yes, I am viewing this concept through binaries, which can be problematic, but I find it helpful for this discussion). I am the person who views quitting negatively. Not that I want this stress or this struggle, I would gladly give up this situation for another with half the headache. Yet, I cannot quit, I cannot give in, I made a commitment and there is no part of me that has even thought of leaving this job before my designated time is up. This is one year of my life that I have committed to something I may not love, or even like, but it is only one year. I view the struggle I am facing today as a test, a hardship that will hopefully allow me to find clarity, to find myself, to grow as a person, and ultimately, to help me assess what I really want out of life. Therefore I view this short term unhappiness as a stepping stone to achieving long term happiness.

Underneath all this, is a desire to persevere, a desire to fight. Maybe this job is a way to prove to myself that I can fight a tough battle and I can win. The win may come at the expense of my health, and often the state of my personal well being, but in the end I will have made it to the finish line. To use this fight metaphor for my current teaching position displays just how difficult it is at times. Instead of a cooperative effort where I work with my students so that I may help them achieve success, what has instead ensued is a battle to see who falters—them or me. Will I succeed in teaching them English, or will I fail?

To return to the subject of happiness, if an individual views his/her job as fight to win, it has become clear for myself that this is not conducive to the overall happiness of either party. It is not conducive to mutual growth as one party must lay wounded and gasping for air for the other party to achieve validation and success.

 It is a millennial concept that we should attain happiness and personal fulfillment through our work. I am sure our grandfathers and those who worked in factories for forty years of their lives doing that same task day in and day out would argue that to find happiness through one's work is strange. Yet today as a millennial I dream and strive for finding happiness through my work. It is a life goal to work a job that, yes at times may be difficult, but will ultimately bring me happiness through a grander sense of personal fulfillment. As work becomes an ever increasing part of our lives thanks to smart phones and the possibility of any space being an office, it seems obvious that we would strive to find purpose and enjoyment from something we now see ourselves involved in 24/7.

Right now all I know is good coffee makes me very, very happy.

Well that's all for now folks. More to come...

-Claire